GOT STEROIDS?

Okay, Okay. What do you get when you have a DHL clerk, a China contact, a Myspace page and Illegal Entrepreneurial tendencies?

Give Up?

Well, eventually you get time behind bars, that is if you get caught. Which is just what happened to some poor sucker in Tempe, Arizona?

I'm sure his intentions were good. He wanted to have his own business, work from home and be his own boss. He probably figured he'd found a market that would allow him the chance to fulfill all his wants and dreams. Actually, he'd probably had the business plan in his head since his high school days some twenty years ago. But what he didn't have back in those glorious wonder years was the one thing that would put wheels on the cart and make it go. He didn't have "Access." He didn't have the Internet.

Without the internet, he would never have been able to afford correspondence with a willing Chinese distributor. Without the internet he wouldn't have had the nerve or resources to research the illegal ingredients needed. Without the internet he wouldn't have had cheap and easy access to customers. Let's face it, without the internet he was a nobody, a nothing, a clerk in a desert delivery service, a bum.

But something happens to people who discover Myspace.com and realize they have the world at their fingertips. They easily can turn into the mad scientist and all those ideas that have floated through their minds over the years are brought to the surface. For instance, what red-blooded American male hasn't done a search on the name of that teenage heart throb, as if she'd remember you and come running to your side after all these years? Or how about sending away for that sexual aphrodisiac, "Spanish Fly?" Tijuana was so damn far away and dangerous back in the day.

With Myspace.com, or any web personals page, you can now be whoever you wanna be, say anything you wanna say, and do just about anything you wanna do. A scary thought when you really think about it. I've seen personal pages for Saddam Hussein, Pee-Wee Herman, Jeffrey Dahmer and even Elvis, and he's supposedly been dead since the 70's. Who Knew?

So getting back to our DHL clerk with Entrepreneurial tendencies, let me just say in his defense that I understand how enticing the internet can be when it comes to fulfilling lifetime dreams and desires. One click and you could become a somebody. You could be a contender. But in this country there are rules and guidelines that must be followed. And now that big brother is watching ever so closely our every move, your plan best be either legitimate or have political backing. Politically backed plans have the power to re-write law when things go bad.

Our DHL clerk was neither legitimate nor politically connected and after pleading guilty faces a maximum of five years in prison and a $250,000.00 fine. Whether he's a victim of an overzealous entrepreneurial personality or an era where Internet Access brings illegal temptations right to your fingertips, he got caught, and that's one sin that society never forgets. Getting Caught. Caught distributing anabolic steroids and using Myspace to solicit customers, willing customers mind you. If only Balco had known.

Got Steroids?