Tuesday, September 05, 2006

A Word On Domestic Violence

A blog reprint from a year ago. Why? Because I visited a Battered Women's Crisis Center today and was reminded of the help many of us Men still need in learning how to treat our women. It ain't cool Man. Matter of fact, it's down right Criminal.

Domestic Violence

Well the Park Ranger is off the hook for treating the homicide suspect lightly, but the state courts sure have a lot of explaining to do.

Turns out the body in the trunk was the suspect’s ex-girlfriend whom he'd threatened, attacked, stalked and pretty much told the world he'd kill her someday.

The paper lists the guy's three plus felonies dating back to the year 2000, all involving violent actions toward the girlfriend. He spent less than six months in county jail for all this and lastly was ordered to attend a domestic violence counseling class. They say he'd attended one of the classes just two days before the ex-girlfriend disappeared.

Guys, let me preach to you about how not to go off the deep end and violently attack the woman you love. Unless you just have a flat out hatred for all women (seek help if you do) you should understand that using physical strength against a woman is easy and addictive. It gives the abuser a sense of power that's most likely stronger than anything he's experienced in his life. Crack cocaine is close but eventually the money runs out. I suppose it’s like the edge an athlete gets from taking steroids, but with no dosage control. That powerful feeling can make a man feel indestructible. When that happens anything is possible. Because once a man feels he's indestructible then there's no need for him to respect anything or anyone. At that point he’s out of control of himself.

So men, before we allow ourselves to go off the deep end and lose it when dealing with our women, just walk away. She may scream at us, curse us or say the most hurtful things to us that anyone could imagine, still just walk away. Her words are her fists and many women under physical or emotional strain don't realize the impact their words may carry. Most likely we share in the cause of her emotional strain as relationships can be emotionally draining at times. But words hurtful to a man’s ego or dignity do not justify a violent response, especially when spoken by a woman.

For us that love sports, watching a game can be an outlet for frustrations in a relationship. Hell, it was the disagreements in my marriage that steered me toward becoming a Raiders season ticket holder. We eventually divorced, but she's alive and well and I'm still free to go to the coliseum, cover my face in silver and black war paint, eat, drink and scream my frustrations out at the opposing team.

Bottom line; find some way to gain control of that inner monster that we're all capable of becoming. Know the inner workings of your own emotions and the things that trigger good and bad actions in you. As the wise old saying goes ‘Know Thy Self’. And when all else fails remember to just walk away. You can always try to love her another day. Love should never become as dysfunctional as to warrant a violent act. Once a man’s violence replaces his love and respect for a woman, the only thing he can become tomorrow is the monster in her worse nightmare. Don’t become a monster!

Just Walk Away!

W. Powell

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