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What the World Didn't See in Me - I Am George Floyd
From the Heavens of the Holy I've watched and waited to see if this killer cop would answer for my death. And here its been almost a year, as an entire nation waits in wonder with bated breath.
It all happened that first Monday of May, 2020. For on that day, I rose up from underneath a policeman's knee and gained my wings. While ascending I looked down upon a painfully familiar scene; police brutalizing a black body while onlookers unsuccessfully pleaded for mercy. I'd been seeing the same scene since childhood, cops subduing a lone black figure by any means they feel necessary. Only, on this fateful day it's my black neck caught between a racist cop and a hard place.
As I lay dying, I heard mama's soothing voice call to me. She was calling me home in a way only a mama could, with offerings of love and comfort. I couldn't see mama, but her presence was all around me. Suddenly, almost as if I had slipped straight into a dream, I was floating upward, free of all fears, wants and needs. I had no pain, no struggles and oddly enough, no need to breathe. I was rising above it all, becoming a witness to my own execution. And somehow, I felt only sorrow and pity for my executioner. The biblical words of Jesus 'father forgive them, for they know not what they do' were never more clear.
As I continued to rise heavenward, I caught myself praying for the badged boy in blue still kneeling on his dead victim's neck below. Like an uncompromising confederate statue, unapologetic of its rebellious history, he displays misguided honor and anger.
With a gleam of the proud hunter twinkling in his eyes, he knelt over his captive prey like many badged predators have throughout the years. If this were the good ol' boy confederacy of Jeff Davis, a rope and oak tree would be sought for hanging and burning of such strange fruit.
Just as I am all too familiar with this horrific scene playing out down below, so to is the badged boy in blue. However, he appears euphorically intent on enacting a scene of unjustifiable homicide, triggered by a hellish hatred. He demonstrates a total lack of respect for humanity under civil law, because in his warped ego he is the 'goddam' law (judge, jury and executioner). His victims are doomed to 'ride the lightning' in order to fulfill his own distorted sense of compliance through domination.
And still I rise up. Looking down prayerful for those innocent bystanders, damned to suffer visions of this horrific day for the rest of their earthbound lives. On the sidewalk, an innocent nine-year old third grader who said afterward she felt "sad and kind of mad" watching the badged boy in blue kneeling unmercifully on the neck of a black body for 9.5 minutes. I pray my beautiful six-year old daughter, Gianna, feels my rise and heals from the loss of her earthly innocence. Me and Grandma are always with you baby girl!
Yes, down there is where my black body lies, and still I rise. While this badged boy in blue poses for pictures and video clips atop my graying carcass, displaying his (s)kill. I now see it all and pray for humanity past, present and future. How long will this race of humans, who coin themselves civilized, feel entitled to wipe out anything or anybody they see as a threat to their ideas and/or way of life?
Yes Lord, down there is where my black body lies, and still I rise. Because a soul, minus hate and full of love for all, never dies. To discover one's soul and cherish it while alive is life's prize. So rise up humanity, become a world you hope to see reflected in your child's eyes. Where not by the color of one's skin but by the content of one's character we judge truths, and lies.
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