Monday, April 03, 2023

Trump Over Moscow

If the 'White Ford Bronco" chase of 1994 was a media game-changer, there's the making of a blockbuster criminal chase taking place today that'll make OJ look like a fugitive slave on the run through 'dismal swamps' of the antebellum south.  


Today America is watching as a former high-ranking government official is believed to have "fled" the country overnight to avoid indictment on multiple criminal charges in New York. Scheduled to turn himself in for criminal booking tomorrow, reports are in which put his surrender seriously in doubt. He is believed to be in route to either Moscow, China or Greenland. 

It's suspected he fled with remaining Top-Secret Documents he kept hidden from federal investigator searches of his Florida residence. The highly sensitive documents may have been hidden in his private plane.

Also missing are millions of dollars of recent campaign contribution funds meant for his reelection campaign. Those political supporters who sent money to the campaign can join a class-action lawsuit already in place to recoup prior campaign supporter fraud. Unfortunately, the gift t-shirts promised for your support were shipped to .  .  .  Moscow!


Breaking News Update!

Late last night astronomers on the lookout for a rare meteorite shower event over the U.S. Northeast, saw an airplane in distress over New York's Laguardia Airport. It seems someone had entered the airplane's cockpit and was grappling with the pilot while trying to lunge at the flight instruments. As the craft's erratic descent came closing in toward the runway, they saw in the cabin a flash of orange, a baseball bat and a gold Burger King crown all go flying topsy-turvy before all aircraft lights went dark. 

After minutes of what the astronomers' thought was them witnessing a downed aircraft, they observed the silhouette of a private jet ascending over the Atlantic. Visible on the tail was the distinctive red "T," and the craft's retracting landing gear underneath. The Laguardia landing had been viciously aborted.


Airplane

Pilot

Man

Bat

Crown


note: this posting is a satirical artistic rendering of actual events and not to be confused with events surrounding a former President's surrendering to the New York District Attorney's office for criminal booking.



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